Everyone always tells me that I am strong. Thank you for that. However, that is not always the case, and let's be honest most times it is probably a face. Today though I wanted to be open and just share how I am feeling. I am having an off day. I have been taking time to research different aspects of parenting and raising an infant as I wait to find out if we are approved to adopt, and I am sure it will continue as we wait to be picked. It has all progressed naturally in my mind. Something someone says will lead me to be overly curious about options and what I want for my child. I started by picking out paint for the nursery. Then I moved onto diapering. I have chosen to cloth diaper and am pretty sure what system I want to use. My new tropic I have moved onto is breastfeeding. For those of you out there that don't know, yes it is possible to breastfeed an adopted child. However, learning about what it would take for me to breastfeed my child got me thinking about the fact that I have no maternity leave/benefits. It wasn't going to be a big deal when Justin was working, but now that he is layed off I won't get to have that time to bond with my baby. I am going to miss the most vital bonding months. This makes me cry. I am feeling extremely hormonal today. I don't know why all of this just hit me and I know I will be fine tomorrow or the day after, but today I am having an off day.
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