Pass along cards

Look what came in the mail yesterday!

They turned out so cute! These are adoption pass along cards. We are going to put them in Dr's offices, salons, planned parenthood, and pass them out to everyone we know. If you would like some to hand out in your area just let me know how many and where to send them!

We had some crazy hail yesterday! All of that was in just two minutes!

Small World!

Work is awesome and it is amazing how many people have adoption in their lives! It is so fun! Jon on my team was adopted. He was so cool to share his story with me. Thanks Jon! Also, and if this isn't public knowledge I am so sorry, my manager told me she is thinking about adopting and wants to pick my brain! That is 4 people in a week that i found out have some connection to adoption. What a great world.

Work!

I have finally started my new job. I finished my first week yesterday. I am working at Ruby Receptionists. The company is too good to be true. They really care about their employees and EVERYONE is so nice! I have been doing really well and loving it.

Now that I have gotten a job our profile is back on itsaboutlove.com! It went up Thursday. I really hope that this time it won't come down until we have been chosen.

I met a new friend in my training class. There were six of us. Amazingly enough she is a birth mom. I hope that my kid has one as loving and understanding as her. We have talked a lot and she is amazing. Thursday we even discovered we have the same birthday! It has been so fun! I have also really enjoyed getting to see her point of view in the adoption process.

My birthday is a month from today. Yikes! I will be one year away from 30. Crazy! I hope this last year and my 20s will be exciting and happy. I am trying everyday to have a thankful attitude and look for the blessings in my life. Let me tell you it make life much more enjoyable. Now to find to joy in the waiting. : )

On Hold

Sorry it has been two months since I have posted. There has been a lot going on. I was laid off December 20th. Since then we have been working with our caseworker to see if we are still able to adopt while I am looking for work. It was determined last week that until I have a full time job we will not be able to adopt. Our profile has been taken down from itsaboutlove.org until then. We are sad about this, but understand it as well. I have been looking for a job and have has about 6 interviews. I really want to be a receptionist so I am looking into those jobs for the most part. Please keep us in your prayers that I find something soon. Thank you!

Changes

The holiday season is a time of Joy and also a time of stress. Right before Thanksgiving we found out my Uncle John has passed away. We went up to Montana for the funeral that was held on the 2nd. It was a beautiful service. I was grateful to have been able to attend. We ran into some snow! Fun to see, but horrible to drive in. We has a lot fall in Rexburg just over night.

While we were in Rexburg Idaho my sister Jessica and brother in law Garn presented me with a donation to our adoption fundraiser! They sold some things so the could contribute. It was so touching and appreciated. Thank you so much Jessica and Garn! I love you guys! Oh, and of course baby L as well!

I had such a great time getting to spend time with this little guy!

Today I found out that most likely I will not have a job come the new year, which really means in two weeks because of the Holiday closure. I don't know yet how this will affect our adoption, but I am devastated. I love my job, I have done it for 4 years and 5 month at the end of this month. With both of us being unemployed it will be very difficult to be able to adopt. However, I am not giving up hope. I know God has a plan for us, and I know that something will work out. Thank you to the family and friends who are already praying for us, and we ask that the rest of you join them. We need a miracle right now, and we know that through ours and your faith God will provide one. We love all of you and thank you for your support!

Limbo

Right now I don't have a lot to say. I seem to have no desire to do anything to prepare for a baby. As we were winding down our home study and anticipating getting approved I was really excited and wanted to get everything ready for baby. Now that we are approved it all feel like it is over and baby doesn’t feel anywhere near in our future. I do know God has a plan for us and it will happen in His time. I am trying to let it all go and just have complete faith in Him, but it is hard. It is really hard not knowing and not having anything to specifically be working on. I though once we were approved we would officially start getting the nursery ready, but like I said, I have no desire to do it. It is probably due to something in the back of my mind saying, maybe God's plan is for you to not have children in this life. I don't actually believe that. I know that we will have our turn. I just need to keep believing and keep having faith.

It's Official!!!

It's official, we are approved! We are finally after 5 months of paperwork, background checks, interviews, and lots of waiting we are now approved to adopt a child domestically. I am so excited! I know this was just one hurdle, and now we wait until the time the Lord unites us with our child(ren). Now I need to start applying for grants and making fliers to put around town to get the word out that we are adopting. Please if anyone hears of anyone in the US wanting to place their child let them know about us and us about them. Once our profile is up on https://itsaboutlove.org/ I will put a link on the side of the blog so you can direct people there. Yay! Here's to hoping it doesn't take another two year!

National Adoption Month

November is here! I can't believe the year has gone by so quickly, and we have already been on our adoption journey for going on 5 months. This is going to be a good month because:

Not only is November National Adoption Month, but it is also the month when our home study should be approved! Joe said he should be done writing it today and then it will be reviewed by his committee. That should be done Tuesday or Wednesday. They may have more questions, but if not we could be approved next week! Keep you eyes peeled for an exciting post next week.

Lots of things have been brewing on the adoption front. Just this week we have actually been made aware of two separate adoption opportunities. We have decided not to pursue the first one we heard about, it just didn't feel right. The second one sounds quite exciting, but we aren't sure if it is actually feasible. Until we know more, I am sorry but I am going to keep details under wraps. Just please keep us in your prayers. Even if nothing comes from this referral, we are excited to get our home study approved and have our profile put on https://itsaboutlove.org/. We also would like all our friends, family, and followers to keep us in mind when you hear of adoption opportunities. We know there are children out there for us and we hope you can help bring us together.

Also, I want to send I HUGE thank you out to my friend Katie A. for your generous donation to our adoption fund. What a perfect way to start off National Adoption Month. Thank you so much!

EDIT: Make that three opportunities. We just go another email. All of these cases and children are so different. It is kind of crazy how this week is progressing. It could be all very exciting, or turn into nothing. We will see!

Babies First Diapers

Sorry, I know it has been a while since I have posted. I don't feel like there is much to write right now. I bought my first cloth diapers! I am excited about that. They are BumGenius 4.0 pocket diapers.

I also went to My Precious Kid and looked at diapers with my sister Stephanie, and my friend Hollie. We all bough All in 2 diapers. I bought a cow print one, it is so cute! Steph bought a blue one to try on D and Hollie bought matching blue and green giraffe prints for her twin boys she is carrying! It was so much fun.

Joe is officially writing our home study! He talked with everyone he needed to talk to and is now plowing away. He has been emailing Justin and I questions to answer, such as who is older between Kaylynn and I. LOL. It is always funny telling people that we don't know. The response is typically telling us that we should look at the time on our birth certificates. Well, New Mexico doesn't put the time on them, at least Kaylynn and mine don't have the time. Funny though, Joe suggested that I look into the hospital records. He then said he didn't need to know, he was just trying to add to the sibling rivalry. It was funny. I hadn't seen anything other than a serious side of our caseworker so the little banter back and forth was nice.

Hopefully soon I will be able to blog about getting approved!

Off Day

Everyone always tells me that I am strong. Thank you for that. However, that is not always the case, and let's be honest most times it is probably a face. Today though I wanted to be open and just share how I am feeling. I am having an off day. I have been taking time to research different aspects of parenting and raising an infant as I wait to find out if we are approved to adopt, and I am sure it will continue as we wait to be picked. It has all progressed naturally in my mind. Something someone says will lead me to be overly curious about options and what I want for my child. I started by picking out paint for the nursery. Then I moved onto diapering. I have chosen to cloth diaper and am pretty sure what system I want to use. My new tropic I have moved onto is breastfeeding. For those of you out there that don't know, yes it is possible to breastfeed an adopted child. However, learning about what it would take for me to breastfeed my child got me thinking about the fact that I have no maternity leave/benefits. It wasn't going to be a big deal when Justin was working, but now that he is layed off I won't get to have that time to bond with my baby. I am going to miss the most vital bonding months. This makes me cry. I am feeling extremely hormonal today. I don't know why all of this just hit me and I know I will be fine tomorrow or the day after, but today I am having an off day.

Blessings

Saturday after 4 hours of General Conference my twin sister and I went to Deseret Book in Lake Oswego for Ladie's Night. I had a good time spending time with her and some friends. Look what I got for a steel!

I know it is hard to read, but it says:

"Some blessings come soon, some come late,

and some don't come until Heaven

but for those who embrace the gospel of Jesus Christ

they come."

- Jeffery R Holland

I thought it would be perfect for the nursery, especially since it is normally $79.99 and I got it for $7.99! Now I need to paint the walls so that I can hang it. : ) I promise I will paint eventually.

A little update on our progress. I have been speaking with our case worker and he is still trying to contact our social worker from the state. However, he said if everything goes smoothly we should be approved late October or early November!  I really hope everything goes well and stays on track. I can't wait!

Background Checks

Our background checks came back today all clear! It was supposed to take 3-6 weeks, and today was the 2 week mark. Yep, we are that good. : ) Now we are just waiting for our home study to be written and to be approved.

Friends

Friendship is born at the moment when one person says to another,

"What? You, too? I thought I was the only one."

-C.S. Lewis

I stole this from a blog I follow because it is perfect for my post today. Thursday was a hard day for me. Physical things were going on with me and we had our personal interviews for the adoption approval process.  While Justin came out of his interview hopeful, optimistic, and in a relatively good mood, I felt drained, exhausted, and a little torn down. I know most of that is from me, the expectations I put on myself, and my anxiety. I went straight to my yoga class hoping that would help me feel better, but because of some of the physical issues I was having that day I just felt worse. Pretty much I was having an off day. I do think everyone is allowed one every once in a while. : ) Well... When I got home I have a pretty package on the table waiting for me.

I was baffled by who it might be from and what it might contain. I saw the street name and thought it was from someone in Washington. LOL. I was like, "I don't have any Aunts in Washington."

I pulled out this cute unicorn and was even more confused. Then I read the card and pulled out a smaller envelope and started tearing up. This wonderful package made my day. The little guy's name is Wishful, which is totally perfect. Infertility is a rough road to travel. However, it has been made easier by the wonderful life long friends I have made who share this road. Stephanie, Allison, Kerry, Eve, Amanda, Amy, and Katie all sent me beautiful notes and donations to our puzzle fundraiser.

These women have called themselves Aunties. Family is more then blood. These women have been such a strength and a blessing in my life and I can't wait for our children to play at the park together. Yes we already talk about play dates. I have made lifelong friends whom I would never have met if not for this trial we all share. Thank you guys. You hold a special place in my heart.

Friendship is born at the moment when one person says to another,

"What? You, too? I thought I was the only one."

-C.S. Lewis

Paint

I like to keep busy and progressing toward a goal. Currently the biggest goal in my life is to start a family and be a mom. I have been working diligently on that goal the past few years with fertility tests and treatments and now adoption paperwork and training. Well, with our interviews being in two days and that being all we have left of our part of the approval process, my mind and subconscious keeps looking for something to do. I can't go around town "advertising" our adoption with hanging fliers and such until our home study is complete so I kind of feel like I am in a holding pattern. I am in a transition period in a lot of ways.

My focus has seemed to transition to the nursery. While we aren't ready to actually turn the kids room into a nursery, for many reasons, I do think I am ready to start working on the transformation. First step, PAINT! I am not a huge fan of painting, but I am excited to paint the nursery. Of course all you secret paint lovers are more than welcome to help! What do you think of these colors? Yes, I know it is really hard to tell from a picture on a blog on a computer. I have the samples in my purse if you want to see! I went to Home Depot to start browsing paint chips. I knew going there that I wanted a light grey. Other than that I wasn't sure. I didn't think it would be too difficulty, said the colorblind person trying to distinguish from a billion slightly different shades of every color in the rainbow. : ) I don't know what I was thinking. However, there was a kind lady working there to whom I laid out my story and she graciously helped me. She said they had just done a room in their house using these colors, and "it feels like eternity when you walk in." When she showed me the colors they were perfect! Now, that could change tomorrow, lol, especially because I have a hard time making decisions and Justin doesn't seem to have an opinion. We will see. I will show these around and see what people thing. Fun!

I have met some of the most amazing women through our infertility journey. I simply love them. Some of them have "graduated" and moved on from our infertility support group because they are expecting! I am so happy for them. I went to a baby shower for one of my dear friends on Saturday. She is having identical twin girl. Also, one of our friends just had her little girl two weeks ago. I made these barrettes for them. Aren't they cute?!? Now, if I could only figure out what to do for the ones having boys.

Homestudy Inspection Done

Our caseworker came over yesterday to do our inspection. It seemed to go well. The only thing we really needed to correct was we needed to go out and buy a carbon monoxide detector for each floor. I thought our smoke detectors were both. Hehe. Oh well. They are now installed and we are good to go.

It was nice that when he was talking about what happens next he said that the ball is in his court. We have done our part and now it is up to him. He did say there is another couple ahead of us whose homestudy he needs to write, but he will get ours done after that. He also said it is OK for me to check in on him and see how it is going. : ) Thank you for giving me permission to nag! One thing that was really helpful was Justin and I both agreed that when he was talking it sounded like he was saying WHEN we are approved not IF we are approved. We will see how our interviews go.

Yesterday I went to Babies R Us to pick up a baby shower for a dear friend who is having twins after a long hard bout with infertility. I am so excited for her! At first while I was there I kept my head down and tried to avoid all the baby stuff and the moms. However, I let my self, for the first time since we lost our baby, actually start thinking about the nursery, and the fact that we really are going to need a nursery. How crazy is that? Even while writing this that thought still scares me because it still feels abstract and so far in the future that is isn't really a possibility, but I am starting to let my self believe it. I looked around at the bedroom sets and even brought home a catalog.

I really don't like espresso, which EVERYTHING seems to come in, neither do I like the painted white look. I like having a little red in the wood. I I found two at the store that I likes and another in the catalog. I have no idea what Justin likes, or if he even cares. While it would be so fun picking out nursery furniture, I don't think we are ready for that. Maybe we can start thinking of painting the nursery? Something light and neutral, safe. : )

Tonight we have a class on Oregon Adoption Law changed that are being proposed. Next Thursday are our individual interviews, and that is all for now. How crazy is it that we have done all we can do to be approved for adoption? It feels great, but also a little scary.

Sleepover!

We got to have a sleepover with our nephews tonight! We had such a good time. We had pizza for dinner, watched Epic at the neighborhood activity, played at the park, and went to Dairy Queen for dessert. The boys seemed to have a good time and Justin and I loved getting to spend time with them. I have to say I love the feeling of having kids in the back seat as I run errands. I know I am weird.

One thing that kinda hit me and made me pause was how much they love me. I love them more than anything, other than their mom and dad and grandparents, but I can also tell they love me too. Justin and I were talking about this after they were in bed. It reiterated to us how it is possible for us to love and for our children to love us even though we will not be biologically related. These two beautiful boys are not ours, we don't see them every day, and we don't provide for all their needs and wants. However, we still love each other unconditionally, openly, and honestly.  It is hard to imagine how much that will be amplified when it is our children but we know it is possible and we can not wait. Also, we can't wait for our little one to get to have sleepovers with his/her cousins.

Dance in the Rain

We made it! All our training is done, all the paperwork is sent in, and all our wonderful references have gotten their form turned in! Now we are getting ready for our interviews. Our "home inspection" interview is next Thursday! Yikes! We are so excited to get it done, but we have a lot to do to get ready. Then our personal interviews are the week after. It feels great to be making progress and to be so close to being approved. Please keep us in your prayers that our interviews will go well and that we won't say the wrong thing. : )

I have the most wonderful friends in the world. I sent them my letter to the birth parents to be edited and they were so helpful! I am so grateful for the wonderful people I have met through this journey. While infertility is hard and I wouldn't wish it on anyone, I have been blessed along the way. I will be eternally grateful for the friends I have made. I was listening to Hillary Weeks new CD "Say Love" on my way home from yoga last night, and her song "Hero" made me think of them. I wish I could share it with all of you, but alas it isn't on You Tube yet. : ) If you want to hear it come over and I will play it for you.

I have been trying to take time to notice small glimpses of moments in my life when I feel content. It has been great. There are times driving in my car with my music on not thinking about life our this crazy world and I feel pure joy. It is amazing. I highly recommend searching for those quick snippets. They are there and recognising them will make life happier. I am hoping one of those times will be tonight watching the Century Jaguars beat the Hillsboro Spartans at the football game we are attending for date night. I can't wait!

We've Got Mail!

Ok, well, I tried to post a picture of the beautiful card, but for some reason I can't get it to load.

We got our first mail in our PO Box! You can't believe how excited I was to get it. It was a beautiful card with a butterfly on the front from our friends the Ericksons. They sponsored a puzzle piece and wrote us the sweetest note. Thank you so much Preston, Kristyn, and Bryce!

Sorry that I haven't posted in a while. Life has been crazy busy at work, and working two jobs, Justin getting layed off and us trying to figure out trade act and school stuff, and having family in town. We have been making a little progress on the adoption front, but we are nearing the end of what we have to do so it is slowing down.

Right now I am really anxious to schedule our interviews. However, in order to do that all of our references have to be turned in. We have half of them submitted. I am hoping by the end of the week all we will have left are our interviews. What we have remaining is 2 training classes which we are completing tonight, mail in the packet of off line documents, which I am hoping to do tonight, and then the 2 references we are waiting on. Can you believe we are so close! I can't believe it. It feels so weird though. I feel so many conflicting emotions. It seems like we have been trying to get all this done forever, but at the same time like it is going so quickly. I feel as though we are nearing the end, but also as though we still have forever to go. Also, I am super excited to have our homestudy done and approved, but at the same time that ends the biggest part where I have at least a semblance of control.

I of course do know that once our homestudy is approved birth moms can then start viewing our profile and selecting us to be the parents of their baby. I can't wait for that phase. We have no idea how long it will take, but we do know that the timing will be perfect because God is in control. I am having a hard time succumbing to His time table, but I am working on it. : ) I will also do my best to keep this updated more, but I am not sure how much I will have to write while we are "waiting". Thank you so much for your prayers and support. We couldn't do it without you.

Making lots of Progress

Looking through pictures to put on our profile on itsaboutlove.org and i ran across this one. I had to share. This is so typical of the pictures we take. Justin loves to make silly faces in our pictures. Hopefully this will give the birth moms looking at our profile a good idea of who we are. : )

We have made a lot of progress on our adoption paperwork. All we have left on Phase 2 is our training. We have completed 3 classes, and had we have 4 more to do. We are doing our 4th class tonight. We are practically done with phase three as well! Justin needs to write a paragraph about me for our letter to our birth mother and we need a few more pictures for the photo album. That is about it. If I want to create a blog for birth mothers to learn more about us I can do that as well. The really intimidates me though. I wouldn't know where to begin or how to make it stand apart from all the other blogs out there.

I am really excited that we are getting so close to having our part done. Soon we will be starting the interview process. We need to get our home ready for the home study. We have A LOT to do in that department. Anyone want to come help us? : )

Recap

I have had a request to write a post on how the puzzle fundraiser works. I would love to!

How the Puzzle Fundraiser Works:

In order to raise the necessary funds for our adoption (Domestic Newborn Adoptions range from approximately $20,000 to $40,000 and International Adoption ranges approximately from $30,000 to $40,000), we are starting a Puzzle Fundraiser. People who donate to our Adoption Fund will purchase puzzle piece/s. The puzzle piece/s purchased will have the name of the person/family donating written on the back. As people/families purchase puzzle pieces, the Adoption Puzzle will be assembled. I will be updating my blog with the progress of the puzzle as it is formed.

After the puzzle is completed, we will frame the puzzle between two pieces of glass and hang it in our baby's nursery. This will be a wonderful keepsake for our child to see all of the people who were part of bringing him/her home. 

 

Cost of 1 Puzzle Piece = $20

 

You may choose to purchase a single piece, or if you want to donate a larger amount, you may purchase as many pieces as you desire.

 

We would love for you to hand us your donations so that we can thank you in person, but we know that isn't always possible. You can sponsor a piece by clicking the paypal donate button on the right side of the page or also mailing to our PO Box. That address in on the puzzle fundraiser page.

 

Also, I am making a flyer to promote our fundraiser so if you would like a few to hang up some where please let me know! Thank you!